Month of Torture
by Mizu-Ryuuseisui Inc
Summary: Re-posting this fic under new co-writing pen name. Suboshi is forced to spend a month in a cabin with Miaka without killing her. Will he make it? Will he go completely insane? Will he get food poisoning from Miaka's cooking? Read and find out!
1. May 1: The Horror Begins

Hi! This is a fanfic co-written by me, Taira, as Suboshi, and Kouran as Miaka! Be warned: We're insane. Both of us. And we have a thing for torturing Suboshi. But this is fun for Suboshi fans too! After all, I'm a Suboshi fan! ^_^. So, anyway, here's the fic!  
  
Disclaimer: We do not own Fushigi Yuugi. Yeah, this is a boring disclaimer, but I'm sick of trying to make them interesting!  
  
MONTH OF TORTURE  
  
::April 30::  
  
Amiboshi: Hey, guess what, Shunkaku!  
  
Suboshi: What, aniki?  
  
Amiboshi: I signed you up for a survival exercise!  
  
Suboshi: Really? What do I have to do?  
  
Amiboshi: You have to live in the same cabin as Suzaku no Miko for a month!  
  
Suboshi: ::freezes::  
  
Amiboshi: C'mon, we have to go!  
  
Suboshi: Noooooo, aniki! I don't waaaaant to!  
  
Amiboshi: ::solemnly:: Shun, if you don't do it, I'll take bokyakuso again!  
  
Suboshi: Fine.  
  
::At the remote forest where the cabin is::  
  
Taiitsukun: Hello, boys!  
  
Amiboshi and Suboshi: AAAAAAH! HELP!  
  
Taiitsukun: -_- Anyway. Do you want to know the rules or what?  
  
Suboshi: ::braces himself:: Sure.  
  
Taiitsukun: All right, now, I'm the main judge, but we need another judge... One who's not on a side, to visit once a week.  
  
Amiboshi: I can do that!  
  
Suboshi: Yessss!  
  
Taiitsukun: And at the end of the month, you'll win a fabulous prize.  
  
Suboshi: Yessss!  
  
Taiitsukun: Also, you're allowed to bring weapons, but...  
  
Suboshi: Yessss!  
  
Taiitsukun: If you're not both alive by the end of the month, you don't get anything!  
  
Suboshi: Awwwww.  
  
Taiitsukun: Ready?  
  
Suboshi: No.  
  
Taiitsukun: Miaka! You can come in now!  
  
Miaka: ::bounces in:: Hi, Suboshi! Isn't this gonna be great? We're gonna have SO much FUN!  
  
Suboshi: HOLD ME, ANIKI!  
  
Amiboshi: Sorry, I can't be on sides...  
  
Suboshi: ::sniffle::  
  
::Tamahome enters::  
  
Tamahome: Hey! Guess what! Anyone can visit at any time, and you're not allowed to kill guests!  
  
Suboshi: ::cloud of doom appears::  
  
Taiitsukun: All right, you two! Here we go! ::opens the cabin door and shoves them in:: Bye! See you at the end of the month!  
  
Amiboshi: ::waves:: Make friends with Suzaku no Miko, otouto!  
  
Tamahome: Sayounara... Miaka!  
  
Miaka: Tamahome!  
  
Tamahome: Miaka!  
  
Miaka: Tamahome!  
  
Tamahome: Miaka!  
  
Miaka: Tamahome!  
  
Tamahome: Mia -  
  
Taiitsukun: That's quite enough of that! ::closes the door::  
  
Suboshi: I'm... gonna... die.  
  
~~~  
  
::May 1::  
  
Miaka: ::wakes up reeeeeeally early:: HEY, SUBOSHI!  
  
Suboshi: ::grunts::  
  
Miaka: C'mon, let's wake up and have some FOOD! ::goes to cabinet::  
  
Suboshi: It's too early to eat...  
  
Miaka: It's NEVER too early to eat! ::opens the cabinet:: ::gasp of horror:: There's no food!  
  
Suboshi: Oh great. Now we're gonna starve to death.  
  
Miaka: Wait! There are ingredients in here! How about I make something?  
  
Suboshi: ::hasn't been warned about Miaka's cooking:: Sure. Whatever. You do that.  
  
Miaka: Let's make mashed potatoes!  
  
Suboshi: ::still in bed:: For breakfast?!  
  
Miaka: Yep! ::starts doing stuff in the kitchen::  
  
Suboshi: ::rolls over and goes back to sleep::  
  
::A while later::  
  
Miaka: It's ready! Here you go! ::puts down two plates of... interesting- looking... things::  
  
Suboshi: ::gets up sleepily::  
  
(AN: Let it be known that according to KoK and I, Amiboshi and Suboshi both sleep with no shirts on *nodnod*)  
  
Suboshi: ::takes a bite of Miaka's "mashed potatoes":: ::gags:: Hey, I thought we both had to be alive by the end of the month!  
  
Miaka: We do!  
  
Suboshi: What's this stuff for, then?  
  
Miaka: ::tears:: You don't... like it?  
  
Suboshi: No, it's just... uh... tastes horrible beyond human knowledge.  
  
Miaka: I see that the concept of "tact" is something that we will have to work on.  
  
Suboshi: Right, right.  
  
~~~  
  
Suboshi: So, what do you want to do?  
  
Miaka: ::thinks:: I know! Let's invite Tamahome! ::grabs Suboshi and starts writing "TAMAHOME COME OVER HERE" on his arm::  
  
Suboshi: Why you... ::raises ryuuseisui::  
  
Miaka: Uh-uh-uh! We both gotta be alive, remember?  
  
Suboshi: ::sulks and starts daydreaming::  
  
Suboshi's Daydream!  
  
Miaka: Oh, please Suboshi! Spare me! Don't impale me on your ryuuseisuiiii...  
  
Suboshi: That's not good enough!  
  
Tamahome: We'll worship you forever! ::bows down:: All hail King Suboshi!  
  
Miaka: Long live King Suboshi! Long live King Suboshi!  
  
Suboshi: It's no good, I'm going to kill you anyway!  
  
Nakago: Here, Suboshi, you can have Yui. I will throw myself at your feet with those who were once my enemies. But we are now united in the worshipping of your Highness.  
  
Yui: Oh, Suboshi! ::starts kissing him:: I love you!  
  
Suboshi: I love you too, Yui-sama!  
  
::Daydream is suddenly interrupted::  
  
Miaka: Hey, Suboshi! What're you thinking about?  
  
Suboshi: Darn you! It was just getting to the best part! ::sigh:: Yui- samaaaaa...  
  
Miaka: ::hyperly:: Wow! You're in love with Yui-chan? Awwww, you'd make the CUTEST couple EVER!  
  
Suboshi: -_-  
  
Miaka: So, what were you thinking about anyway?  
  
Suboshi: I can't tell you.  
  
Miaka: Why not?  
  
Suboshi: Because we have to be alive by the end of the month.  
  
~~~  
  
Tamahome: The needed one HAS ARRIVED!  
  
Miaka: Tamahome!  
  
Tamahome: Miaka!  
  
Miaka: Tamahome!  
  
Tamahome: Miaka!  
  
Miaka: Tamahome!  
  
Tamahome: Miaka!  
  
Miaka: Tamahome!  
  
Tamahome: Miaka!  
  
Miaka: Tamahome!  
  
Tamahome: Mia - hey, where's yo-yo boy?  
  
Suboshi: Who're you calling yo-yo boy... obake-chan?  
  
Tamahome: ::GLARES:: What... did you say?  
  
Suboshi: You heard me perfectly well... Tama-boy.  
  
Tamahome: You're so dead.  
  
Suboshi: Oh no you don't! You'll get in major trouble with Taiitsukun if you kill either of us before the month is up! ::grins::  
  
Tamahome: ::glaaaaares:: Well, at least Yui's in LOVE with me, huh Suboshi?  
  
Suboshi: You are going to die when I get out of here.  
  
Tamahome: ::smirks:: Miaka, isn't there any privacy here?  
  
Miaka: Yeah, come on into my bedroom, Tamahome!  
  
Suboshi: ::raises an eyebrow::  
  
Tamahome: Oh, shut up.  
  
~~~  
  
::An hour later - Tamahome and Miaka still have not emerged::  
  
Suboshi: ::pulls out a pen and starts to doodle on his arm::  
  
::Amiboshi's writing appears: Stop that. People will think I'm as weird as you are.::  
  
Suboshi: ::siiiiiiiigh::  
  
~~~  
  
::Another hour later::  
  
Miaka: Oh, Tamahome, do you really have to go?  
  
Tamahome: I'll be back... Miaka.  
  
Miaka: Tamahome!  
  
Tamahome: Miaka!  
  
Miaka: Tamahome!  
  
Tamahome: Miaka!  
  
Miaka: Tamahome!  
  
Tamahome: Miaka!  
  
Miaka: Tama - ::Amiboshi pulls Tamahome out of the cabin, waves to Suboshi, and shuts the door::  
  
Miaka: ::sob:: He's goooooooooooone!  
  
Suboshi: ::rolls eyes and settles down to daydream some more::  
  
~~~  
  
::At night::  
  
Miaka: Gee, Suboshi, wasn't that a great dinner?  
  
Suboshi: ::mutters::  
  
Miaka: Time to go to sleep!  
  
Suboshi: Okay... ::goes into the bedroom they share::  
  
Miaka: ::gets into her bed and takes out a a blue teddy bear with a ponytail:: Oh, Tamahome... ::squeezes it::  
  
Teddy Bear: Miaka...  
  
Miaka: Tamahome... ::squeezes bear again::  
  
Teddy Bear: Miaka...  
  
Suboshi: What the heck?  
  
Miaka: Tamahome gave it to me! It's a recording of his voice that plays if you press here! Tamahome... ::squeezes bear::  
  
Teddy Bear: Miaka...  
  
Suboshi: ::takes the bear:: I'll never get any sleep with that going on...  
  
Miaka: ::pouts:: Fine.  
  
~~~  
  
All right! End of first chapter! Do ya like it? Do ya want more? We'll have one chapter per day, all right? Please review!  
~Taira and Kouran 


	2. May 2: Romance Problems

We're back! Boy, we're having fun today... We only posted the first chapter a few minutes ago ^_^. Anyway, here's the second one!  
  
~~~  
  
::May 2::  
  
Miaka: ::waking up at 1:00 AM:: MIDNIGHT SNACK! ::opens the cabinet:: Oh, that's right... there's no food!  
  
Tamahome: ::tapping on the window:: Psst! Miaka!  
  
Miaka: Tamahome!  
  
Tamahome: Miaka!  
  
Miaka: Tamahome!  
  
Tamahome: Miaka!  
  
::Authoress gets lynched because the stupid Miaka - Tamahome thing is getting so annoying::  
  
Tamahome: I brought you some food! Just for you! Not that murdering overprotective bakayarou you've got in there with you!  
  
Miaka: AAAAAH! FOOD! TAMAHOME! WO AI NI! AISHITERU! DAISUKI! ARIGATOU GOZAIMASU! ::tries to glomp him through the window and runs into the glass::  
  
Tamahome: ::rolls eyes:: Open the window, Miaka-chan!  
  
Miaka: ::sweatdrop:: Oh, right... ::opens it::  
  
Tamahome: ::hands over some food::  
  
Miaka: I love you forever, Tamahome!  
  
Tamahome: You too, Miaka!  
  
::Lovey-dovey scene that no one wants to see::  
  
Suboshi: ::walks out in his "pajamas" (eheheheh):: Oi! Obake-chan!  
  
Tamahome: ::glareglare:: What?  
  
Suboshi: LOOK! IT'S A SUNAKAKE BABAA! ::points behind Tamahome::  
  
Tamahome: What? ::turns around and sees Taiitsukun:: AAAAAAAAAAAAAH! SAND- THROWING OLD HAG!  
  
Taiitsukun: Tamahome! You're not supposed to be here! ::drags him off::  
  
Miaka: ::sigh:: Tamahome... ::squeezes her bear::  
  
::This repeats a few times::  
  
Suboshi: I'm going back to sleep...  
  
~~~  
  
::In the morning::  
  
Miaka: Breakfast time, Suboshi!  
  
Suboshi: ::has been daydreaming again:: What did you say, slave - I mean, Miaka?  
  
Miaka: Breakfast time!  
  
Suboshi: ::gets up quickly:: How about I make breakfast, Miaka?  
  
Miaka: Okay!  
  
Suboshi: ::sets to work in the kitchen and comes out with pancakes, eggs and bacon because he can actually COOK::  
  
Miaka: Yum! Thanks, Suboshi! ::digs in:: ::finishes eating a few seconds later:: ::points to Suboshi's plate:: Yuh gnn ee thuh?   
(Translation: You gonna eat that?)  
  
Suboshi: YES! ::starts eating::  
  
~~~  
  
Suboshi: Hey, Miaka! Do you have a pen?  
  
Miaka: Sure! ::tosses him one::  
  
Suboshi: ::writes on his arm: Help me, Miaka's cooking is horrible, we're both gonna die of food poisoning, help, aniki!::  
  
::Writing appears: Sorry. I can't come until the 8th. And then not again until the 15th.::  
  
Suboshi: Nooooooo! Aniki!  
  
Miaka: Whatsa matter, Subo?  
  
Suboshi: Don't call me that, Mibaka.  
  
Miaka: Fine. Whatsa matter, Suboshi?  
  
Suboshi: Um, I'm stuck here with you.  
  
Miaka: ...Fine! Be that way!  
  
Suboshi: I will, thank you.  
  
Miaka: You're meeeeeeeeean, Suboshiiiiii!  
  
Suboshi: Hey, that rhymes! Sort of.  
  
Miaka: Yeah, "Suboshi" rhymes with "ryuuseisui" too... Does my name rhyme with anything that suits me?  
  
Suboshi: Baka?  
  
Miaka: NO!  
  
Suboshi: Fine, fine, but you asked for it!  
  
Miaka: Well... ::grins:: Give me that arm ::grabs arm and writes "Hey Amiboshi can you think of something that rhymes with Miaka besides 'baka'?"::  
  
::Writing appears: Kirei...::  
  
Suboshi: ::grabs his arm back from Miaka and writes: Aniki, "kirei" does NOT rhyme with Miaka! Now, Yui-sama on the other hand...::  
  
::Angry writing appears: Yeah, well, you know what rhymes with Yui-sama? Tama!::  
  
Suboshi: ::writes back: Well, you know what rhymes with "aniki"? Freaky!::  
  
::Miaka writes: Amiboshi's not freaky! He's nice and kind and sweet!::  
  
::Writing appears: Miiiiiiaaaaakaaaa...::  
  
Miaka: ::writes: Amiboshi...::  
  
::Amiboshi writes: Miaka...::  
  
Miaka: ::writes: Amiboshi...::  
  
::Writing appears from Tamahome: Miaka! Why are you doing the name thing with some other guy?!!!::  
  
Suboshi: That's it, my arm is turning into a soap opera! ::pulls down the sleeve firmly::  
  
Miaka: Awwwww.  
  
~~~  
  
Miaka: ::bounces around singing:: Still love you! Arashi no ato! Aoi sora ga! Kanarazu hirogaru!  
  
Suboshi: That's really annoying, Mi-baka.  
  
Miaka: ::glares:: ::sings louder:: BROKEN HEART! DAKARA IMA WA! KONO KANASHIMI NI! TACHIMUKATTE YUKU!  
  
Suboshi: ::glares back and starts sing "Never Get Away":: KANOJO NO KOKORO WO ZUTAZUTA NI SHITA! YATSU WA KONO ORE GA YURUSANAI!  
  
Miaka: ::getting annoyed:: ONAJI HITO SUKI NI NARU NANTE!  
Suboshi: NEVER GET AWAY! ME WO HAZURASU NA!  
  
Miaka: SETSUNASUGIRU UNMEI!  
  
Suboshi: NEVER GET AWAY FOR... this is getting ridiculous.  
  
Miaka: ::happily:: Nani ga ichiban daiji na koto ka...  
  
Suboshi: Miaka, stop singing.  
  
Miaka: Kokoro ga...  
  
Suboshi: Miaka!  
  
Miaka: ...Toikaketekuru...  
  
Suboshi: MIAKA!  
  
Miaka: Ai to yuujou...  
  
Suboshi: ::bangs his head against the wall:: SHUT UP!  
  
Miaka: ...Kuraberarenai...  
  
Suboshi: ::screams, covers his ears, and runs into the next room::  
  
Miaka: ::gets louder:: WATASHI NO NAKA DE WA HITOTSU IKITEKU HIKARI! ::bows:: Thank you, thank you! Oh really, you're too kind!  
  
~~~  
  
Tamahome: ::bangs on the door:: Miaka! I know you're in there!  
  
Miaka: ::opens the door:: Tamahome!  
  
Tamahome: Miaka!  
  
Miaka: ::sees Amiboshi being held by the collar next to Tamahome:: Amibo - I mean, Tamahome!  
  
Tamahome and Amiboshi: Miaka!  
  
Miaka: Amihome! Wait! I mean, Tamaboshi! Wait, no... Amitama! No, that's not it... Boshihome!  
  
Suboshi: ANIKI! ::runs and hugs Amiboshi, sobbing traumatized-ly:: Aniki, aniki, get me out of here!  
  
Amiboshi: It's for your own good, otouto!  
  
Suboshi: Wait... why are you here, anyway? You said you wouldn't be here until the 8th!  
  
Amiboshi: Well, yeah, but there was a romantic problem... ::pulls up sleeve::  
  
Suboshi: Ah, yes... that.  
  
Tamahome: YES, Miaka... THAT!  
  
Miaka: ::shrinks back:: Tamiboshihome?  
  
Tamahome: Miaka, why were you doing the name thing with another guy?  
  
Miaka: Because he's my friend!  
  
Tamahome: Miaka, the name thing was a sign of our eternal love! I have a patent on the name thing!  
  
Miaka: You DO?  
  
Tamahome: Uh, yeah.  
  
Miaka: Wow, you never told me that!  
  
Tamahome: ANYWAY!  
  
Miaka: Sorry, Tamahome, but whenever anyone says my name at the end of a sentence, it's just habit to do the name thing!  
  
Tamahome: ::sigh:: Fine, I'll forgive. C'mon, Amiboshi, we're not supposed to be here.  
  
Amiboshi: Okay. Shunkaku, let go of me.  
  
Suboshi: ::shakes head furiously::  
  
Amiboshi: Shunkaku! Do you want the sand-throwing old hag to come up here and get us in trouble?  
  
Suboshi: No! Not her! ::lets go::  
  
Amiboshi: Bye...  
  
Tamahome: Sayounara...  
  
Both: Miaka...  
  
Miaka: Bye, Amihometama! I mean, Tamahomiboshi! I mean... ::stops and looks confused::  
  
~~~  
  
::At night::  
  
Miaka: ::pulls out her blue bear and a blondish-green bear with a flute:: ::turns to the blue one:: Tamahome... ::squeezes it::  
  
Tamahome Bear: Miaka...  
  
Miaka: ::turns to her other bear:: Amiboshi... ::squeezes it::  
  
Amiboshi Bear: Miaka...  
  
Miaka: ::turns back to her Tamahome bear:: Tamahome...   
::squeezes it::  
  
Tamahome Bear: Miaka...  
  
Suboshi: ::groans:: Not again...  
  
~~~  
  
There! That's two chapters in one day! Whoaaaaaaa... We gotta write as much as we can before I have to leave Kouran's house! ^_^. She actually was squeezing a teddy bear for a lot of that, and going "Tamahome... Amiboshi..." and stuff, but the bear didn't say anything... sadly. For her, at least. All right, well, review and keep reading Month of Torture!  
  
~Taira and Kouran 


	3. May 3: Teaming Up

And we're back! Boy, it's been a while, huh? Kouran and I haven't been able to get together until today. Wee can't wait a second longer so let's get down to MONTH OF TORTURE!  
  
~~~  
  
::May 3::  
  
::Late at night - er, early in the morning, about 2:00::  
  
Miaka's Dream!  
  
Tamahome: ::holding out a large delicious filet mignon:: Miiiiiaaaakkkkaaaa.. Come here, Miaka..... We'll have a nice cuddle and you can have this steak alllllllll to yourself...  
  
Miaka: ::drools:: Ta-ma-ho-meeeeee... I LOVE YOUUUU! ::starts running towards him::  
  
::Tenkou suddenly appears, really huge, and picks Tamahome up in his fist::  
  
Tenkou: DIIIIIIEEEEE!!!  
  
::Back in reality::  
  
Miaka: ::has a pillow and is hitting her bedpost with it:: DIE, EVIL MONSTER!!! DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE!!!! PUT HIM DOWN!!! GIMME THAT STEAK!! DIE!  
  
Suboshi: ::waking up:: ::grumbles:: Why meeeeee?!!!! I wonder if I can borrow some sleeping pills from Taiitsukun and mix them in her food... ::bangs himself in the head:: Ugh, SHUT UP, MIAKA!!!  
  
Miaka: ::half-awake:: Uhhh... What was I doing? ::still banging at the bedpost::  
  
Suboshi: ::siiiiiiiiigh:: You were hitting the bedpost and yelling... ::mocks Miaka's voice and hair style:: ::squeakily:: "Die, evil monster! Die, die, die, die, die! Put him dooooowwwnnnnn! Gimme that steak even though I'm such an annoying rude little bratty girl! Diiiiiiieeee! Whine, whine, whine!"  
  
Miaka: ..-_- And your point is?  
  
Suboshi: SHUT THE HECK UP AND GO TO SLEEP! ::slams his pillow over his head and falls asleep again::  
  
Miaka: ::glares:: ::picks up her teddy bears from Suboshi:: Tamahome...  
  
Tamahome bear: Miaka...  
  
Miaka: Amiboshi...  
  
Amiboshi bear: Miaka...  
  
Miaka: Tamahome...  
  
You-know-who: you-know-what  
  
Miaka: ::goes to sleep::  
  
::In the morning::  
  
Suboshi: ::gets up early so that he can make breakfast before Miaka touches anything in the kitchen::  
  
Miaka: ::smells food:: ::immediately wakes up:: FOOOOOOOOOOD!!!! ::runs to the kitchen::  
  
Suboshi: ::glares:: ::gives her a bagel:: ::sets a plate down in front of himself with lots of delicious food on it:: You're going on a diet! Then maybe you'll get so thin you'll disappear...  
  
Miaka: SUBOSHI! You're so meeeeean! ::sobs:: I wanna have Tamahome over here!  
  
Suboshi: No. ::digs into his food::  
  
Miaka: ::vows revenge:: I'll get you ::grabs his arm:: ::writes:: Tamahome!  
  
Suboshi: ::jerks his arm back:: ::writes on it, "Aniki, don't show that to ANYONE!"::  
  
::Writing appears - "Blink, blink"::  
  
Suboshi: You can't write anymore until these scars on my arm heal, okay?!!  
  
Miaka: I'll get Mitsukake to come on his birthday!  
  
Suboshi: ::swears::  
  
~~~  
  
Miaka: Suboshi! Let's get to know each other better!  
  
Suboshi: ::groans:: What do you have in mind?  
  
Miaka: Let's tell each other our life stories!  
  
Suboshi: Okay. I'll start. See, I've always been traumatized since that fateful day I walked in an Nakago with Soi, and they were doing -  
  
Miaka: OKAY! THAT'S ENOUGH! PLEASE!  
  
Suboshi: Hey, that gives me an idea... ::explains::  
  
::A few minutes and a lot of evil cackling later::  
  
Suboshi: ::writing on his other arm:: Aniki, give this arm to Nakago. It's important::  
  
::After a while, writing appears - "Okay, I did"::  
  
Suboshi: ::writes:: Nakago... we know what you and Soi have been doing, and will inform all of the Suzaku seishi through my aniki if you do not submit to our commands...  
  
::Writing appears - "::gasp:: What do you want?!!"::  
  
Suboshi: ::saying the words as he writes them:: Lots... of... food... and... a... life-size... Yui... plushie...  
  
::Writing appears - "Want me to deliver it to your cabin?"::  
  
Suboshi: ::writes "please"::  
  
Miaka: Wow, you're cooler than I thought!  
  
Suboshi: ::grins:: Oh, I know.  
  
~~~  
  
::Later that day::  
  
Nakago: ::rings the doorbell, then leaves the stuff and runs away::  
  
Suboshi: Ah, here it is... ::brings it in::  
  
Miaka: ::drools:: HAND OVER THAT FOOD!  
  
Suboshi: No, I'll keep it to bribe you with...  
  
Miaka: In that case, consider me doing anything you want...  
  
Suboshi: This is actually quite fun... Don't you think, Yui? ::hugs his plushie::  
  
Yui plushie: I love you forever, Suboshi!  
  
Suboshi: ::grins::  
  
~~~  
  
::That night::  
  
Suboshi: ::jumps into the Yui plushie's arms happily::  
  
Yui plushie: I love you forever, Suboshi!  
  
Miaka: ::picks up her bears, plus a new one - A red and brown-black one with a sword:: Hotohori... Amiboshi... Tamahome...  
  
Hotohori bear: Miaka-sama...  
  
Amiboshi bear: Miaka...  
  
Tamahome bear: Miaka...  
  
Miaka: Hotohori... Amiboshi... Tamahome...  
  
::They repeat::  
  
Suboshi: If you don't do that at all tonight, I'll give you some EXTRA food!  
  
Miaka: ::quickly shuts up and falls asleep::  
  
~~~  
  
Okay that's all for that chapter now we're gonna write another one bye!  
  
~Taira and Kouran 


	4. May 4: The Rating of the Fanfic Goes Up ...

We're actually back! I know it's hard to believe! We're both terribly sorry for the author's note, and we'd like to extend a special apology to Metajoker and Rowan Obscura. Sorry! We only put it up because we both knew it was very unlikely for us to be writing for a while. We were in this huge fight, and plus had no inspiration whatsoever. We STILL have no clue what we're going to write, but we figure that if we don't write SOMETHING, you, the reviewers, will either die, or come and murder us whilst we sleep. So, here goes nothing! Oh, also, let us warn you that we are not responsible for the insanity of this fanfic, because we are under the influence of chocolate, comedy theater, and "Cellblock Tango" from Chicago.  
  
~~~  
  
::May 4::  
  
Miaka: ::wakes up to the smell of delicious food:: Breakfast! ::bounces downstairs::  
  
Suboshi: Not for you! ::gives her a bowl of cereal::  
  
Miaka: Hey! Last night you said you'd give me extra food if I didn't do the bear thing!  
  
Suboshi: ::sighs in a long-suffering way:: All right, then, I suppose you can have a little bit of food. ::gives her a slice of bacon::  
  
Miaka: Yay! ::eats it in one bite::  
  
Suboshi: I'm going to the other room now, to do... uh... things. ::coughs::  
  
Miaka: Okay!  
  
::Suboshi shuts the door to the room. Sounds of the Yui plushie saying its "I love you forever, Suboshi!" recording can be heard::  
  
Miaka: ::knocks on the door:: Uh, what are you doing in there, Suboshi? ::scared::  
  
Suboshi: ::pokes his head out:: Did you know the Yui plushie's clothes come off?  
  
Miaka: ::eyes widen:: Never mind. ::shuts the door quickly:: La de da... ::lightbulb lights up over her head:: Wait... It's May 4! ::grins::  
  
~~~  
  
::Some time later, in the other room::  
  
Suboshi: ::daydreaming::  
  
(Suboshi's Daydream Number Two!)  
  
Yui: Oh, Suboshi! I love you! I am not worthy of your greatness! I will never look upon Tamahome again!  
  
Suboshi: Now, now, Yui-sama, you don't need to bow before me... But you can take off your clothes, you know, if you want...  
  
Yui: I'll do anything for you, my love! ::starts stripping::  
  
Tamahome: ::comes in:: Oh, Suboshi! Please forgive me for doing such horrible things! I see now that my brothers and sisters were whiny brats who needed to be killed, and you were doing me such a huge favor! I bow before you! ::bows before him::  
  
Yui: ::sobs:: Oh, I cannot bear to see him! He's so hideous! I can't imagine what made me think I liked him at all!  
  
Suboshi: ::coldly:: Your presence distresses Yui-sama. You may escort yourself to the torture chamber in the dungeon, where you will be dealt with later.  
  
Tamahome: Oh, yes! I must repay you for doing me such a favor! ::goes off to the torture chamber::  
  
Suboshi: ::grinning hentai-ly:: Now, Yui-sama, where were we...?  
  
::In the real world::  
  
Miaka: SUBOOOOOOSHI!!!!  
  
Suboshi: ::wakes up:: What is it, obedient servant... I mean, Miaka?  
  
Miaka: ::sounds embarrassed:: Are you, um... ::coughs:: clothed?  
  
Suboshi: ::blushes:: Uh, gimme a second... ::gets his clothes on::  
  
Miaka: ::comes in:: Okay. I've invited over some company. Is that okay?  
  
Suboshi: ::suspicious:: Who?  
  
Miaka: ::peers: Is that the Yui plushie under the covers?  
  
Suboshi: ::quickly:: No! Of course not! Who did you invite?  
  
Miaka: ::grins:: You'll see...  
  
~~~  
  
::doorbell::  
  
Miaka: ::runs over and opens the door:: HIIIIII!!!  
  
::Nuriko is standing at the door, his hair cut, wearing manly clothes::  
  
Miaka: ::gasps:: Wow! You're really dressed up for this holiday, aren't you?  
  
Suboshi: What? What? What holiday?  
  
Miaka: May 4 is the anniversary of the screening of the first episode where Nuriko wears guy clothes!  
  
Suboshi: ::sighs:: Oh, great. I was wondering what happened to your clothes today. ::looks at Miaka, who is wearing a purple shirt, purple dress, purple stockings, purple socks, purple shoes, and a purple hat::  
  
Miaka: Yay! We all have to celebrate!  
  
Nuriko: I brought you a present, Miaka! Since it's a holiday, and all!  
  
Miaka: Oh, wow! Is it FOOD?  
  
Nuriko: You'll see... ::gives her a package::  
  
Miaka: ::rips it open and finds a lavender teddy bear with darker purple hair and bracelets:: Oh, wow! I love it!  
  
Nuriko: I thought you would!  
  
Miaka: Nuriko... ::hugs it::  
  
Nuriko Bear: Hotohori's mine, so hands off... Miaka...  
  
Miaka: ::looks annoyed:: Hey!  
  
Nuriko: ::giggles::  
  
Miaka: You're supposed to be manly!  
  
Nuriko: Ohohohohoho!! ::whips off manly clothes to reveal skirts and takes off short-hair wig::  
  
Miaka: Nuriko! You're still gay!  
  
Nuriko: ::quoting a line from an episode:: Miaka! You're still stupid!  
  
Miaka: Okay, that's it, inviting you wasn't the greatest idea... ::pushes her... er, HIM out of the house::  
  
Nuriko: Hey! No! Wait! ::door slams::  
  
Suboshi: See? See what happens when you try to do stuff?  
  
Miaka: Shut up, Suboshi.  
  
~~~  
  
::That night::  
  
Miaka: Tamahome...  
  
Tamahome Bear: Miaka...  
  
Miaka: Amiboshi...  
  
Amiboshi Bear: Miaka...  
  
Miaka: Hotohori...  
  
Hotohori Bear: Miaka...  
  
Miaka: ::picks up Nuriko Bear:: ::looks at it:: ::throws it over the side of the bed::  
  
Suboshi: PRAISE SEIRYUU! ::starts chanting a prayer of thanks to Seiryuu::  
  
Miaka: Okay, TIME TO SLEEP! ::turns out the light::  
  
~~~  
  
MONTH OF TORTURE AKUGI:  
  
Miaka: ::sounds embarrassed:: Are you, um... ::coughs:: clothed?  
  
Suboshi: ::blushes:: Uh, gimme a second...  
  
Miaka: ::walks in:: Oh, it doesn't matter, I've seen lots of naked men. Tamahome, Nakago, Tomo, and all those others, you know.  
  
Suboshi: GYAHHHHH!!! ::pulls up the covers on the bed to, er, cover himself::  
  
Miaka: ::pulls off her shirt and starts undressing all the way:: So, Suboshi! Wanna do it?  
  
Suboshi: ::stares:: No! Not with you!  
  
Miaka: Don't worry, I've been pregnant before!  
  
Suboshi: You're insane!  
  
Miaka: ::explains:: See, there was Tamahome, he was pretty good, but then there was Nakago, he was hot, he was good too. Then Tomo was totally excellent, much better than Tamahome. Then there was Tasuki! Oh, he was great. So sweaty, and manly... Ohhhhh, if only we hadn't been interrupted! Then there was... ::continues to describe all the men who raped her in great detail::  
  
::Miaka "magically" changes into Yui::  
  
Miaka/Yui: So, Suboshi. Wanna do it?  
  
Suboshi: ::drools:: Okay! ::blinks:: Wait a second, weren't you just Miaka? ::eyes widen:: T-Tomo?!!!  
  
::Yui "magically" turns into Tomo::  
  
Tomo: Darn it, why does everyone have to be straight in this show?!!!  
  
Suboshi: ::backs away::  
  
~~~  
  
There!  
  
~Mizu-Ryuuseisui Inc. ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ (mizu) O----------------------O (ryuuseisui) 


End file.
